Little Jelly Things
by Evilkitten3
Summary: Weird little Jellal ship things from Tumblr requests. Ranges from suggestively weird to weirdly suggestive to insane. Might also have some other Tumblr requests. Like that Zervel one. I dunno. Read, don't read, whatever. (I only take requests from Tumblr for this one - same username, though). No, I don't know what I'm doing.
1. Jerik - Cereal and Death

You got it! :D (totallywashopingforthis)

Watching Jellal walk in circles would have been a lot more amusing if Erik couldn't literally feel the anger coming off of him in waves.

"Will you untie me now?" he asked hopefully. Jellal stopped pacing and glowered at him.

"No." He snapped. "I'm thinking about what I should give Gajeel as a thank-you present for finding you. Maybe your severed head." Erik winced.

"Don't you think you're being a bit… over-the-top about this?" he asked hopefully. Jellal was usually a reasonable person. A fist slammed into the wall next to Erik's face. Jellal knelt down.

"'Over-the-top'?" He hissed quietly. "What the hell does that mean?"

"You seem very angry," Erik noted helpfully.

"Who wouldn't be angry?" Jellal yelled. "You ate all of my cereal and faked your death! For three years!"

"In my defense, I was very drunk."

"FOR THREE YEARS?"

"…Yes."


	2. Jelano - Sleeptalk and Princesses

Sorano opened her eyes to stare at the roof of the cave house hideout place that Crime Sorcière was currently staying at.

"Did you have a nice dream?" At the sound of Jellal's voice, Sorano practically shot out of her sleeping bag.

"WERE YOU WATCHING ME SLEEP?" she shrieked. His face reddened.

"No!" He protested. "Erik woke me up and asked me to check on you! He said you were having a nightmare!" Sorano blinked.

"Nightmare?" she repeated. "I wasn't having a–"

"Any dream where there's a princess is a nightmare!" Erik called. Sorano's dream came flooding back and her face turned red.

"Wait, princess?" Jellal repeated confused. "You said–"

"Erik narrated the whole thing to us!" Merudy said, poking her head in. "My favorite part was the dragon."

"You were also kinda mumbling my name," Jellal told her, embarrassed. "I understand the whole sleep-talking thing, but what I don't understand is the princess-dragon dream and why I'm in it." Sorano's cheeks burned furiously.

"I don't remember anything," she said flatly. Jellal nodded.

"All right," he said, seemingly relieved. "People forget dreams; it's fine." Erik snorted.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew that she wasn't the princess!" he snickered. "You look good in a dress, boss." Jellal choked.


	3. Jeltsu - Playing House

"Okay, you're the mommy, and you're the daddy!" Wendy declared, pointing at each of her new "parents" in turn. Natsu and Jellal looked at each other.

"Why am _I_ the mommy?" Jellal asked, confused. Natsu snickered.

"You _are_ rather… motherly," Carla piped up. The little white cat almost felt bad for having convinced the two men to play House with Wendy, but she had sworn to never do that ever again, and Happy's offer to go fishing had become very appealing all of a sudden. "Well, have fun, you three." Carla hightailed it out of there before Wendy's puppy dog eyes made her stay.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," Jellal said flatly. Natsu shrugged.

"It's not hard." Wendy and Jellal looked at him. "What? I played with Asuka when I was babysitting her!"

"Right," Jellal mumbled. "I still don't know what's going on, though."

"We're playing House," Wendy said, her tone indicating that it should have been obvious. "Haven't you ever played House before?"

"No, I have not," Jellal replied. "For one thing, I am not - nor have I ever been - a little girl. Also, I grew up in a cell." Wendy frowned.

"Don't worry, I'll teach ya." Natsu put his hand on Jellal's shoulder, and leaned in. "Wendy might be the kid," he whispered, "but it's best to do what she says in this game. For some reason, little girls are really good at this."

"Er, yes, of course," Jellal mumbled, not entirely sure how to handle how the Dragon Slayer's close proximity.

"Okay, good," Wendy chirped. "Now, once Daddy gets home from work, he has to kiss Mommy, okay?" Jellal choked.

"WHAT?" Wendy smiled innocently. Suddenly, Jellal thought he knew what Mira, Erza, Sorano, and Lucy had been snickering about earlier. Natsu shrugged.

"Well, it's not like it's the end of the world," he said nonchalantly. Jellal's head snapped back to look at him.

"Of course not, but this is–" Jellal had to stop there because Natsu's lips were on his and Wendy was giggling madly and _holyshitthisisamaz–_

"What's going– OH MY GOD!" Natsu pulled back and Jellal stared blankly ahead. Gajeel gaped at them. "What the actual fuck, Salamander." he said flatly. "No, fuck it, I don't wanna know." The Iron Dragon Slayer turned and walked off, and Wendy's giggling reminded both Jellal and Natsu that they were still in the middle of the guildhall - and almost everyone was staring. Jellal, however, was still in shock.

"W… what just happened?" he asked, dazed.

"I got a bit too carried away with playing House and accidentally kissed you passionately," Natsu said flippantly.

"Accidentally?" Jellal repeated.

"Okay, so maybe that bit was a lie." Natsu admitted. "But Cobra - I mean Erik - said that–"

"It doesn't matter what he said," Jellal hissed, his face as red as Erza's hair. "I'm going to kill him." Natsu frowned.

"So… you didn't want me to kiss you?"

"I didn't say– I mean, that's not exactly– look, Natsu, I–" Natsu rolled his eyes and kissed him again. Mirajane giggled.

"Two thousand Jewel says Natsu gets laid tonight~" she sang.


	4. ZerJel - People and Chloroform

Humans were complicated, Zeref decided. And, now that he'd somehow become human once more (he wasn't sure what exactly the Alberona girl had done, but he also didn't think he wanted to know), trying to adapt to the humans of the century was proving exceedingly difficult.

"I may be behind on the times," Zeref said, watching his (guardian? baby sitter? parol officer? guy-who-makes-sure-no-one-dies?) supervisor closely, "but why exactly do you need chloroform at 3 am in the morning?" Jellal, caught red-handed, blushed.

"…Natsu wants you to come over to Fairy Tail," he admitted.

"So you were going to drug me?" Zeref asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time!" Jellal protested.

"Mavis blackmailed you, didn't she." Zeref fought to hide a smile.

"…" Jellal didn't say anything - he just stared at his feet, embarrassed.

"What exactly did she use?" Zeref wondered. Jellal's already red cheeks darkened even more.

"shesaidshedtellpeoplethatyoucallmejellybean" he said very quickly. Zeref blinked.

"How could she know that?" he wondered. "I only call you that when we–"

"SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUT–" Zeref couldn't stop himself from bursting out laughing.

"I'll pretend to be unconscious," Zeref offered. "Chloroform gives headaches, I've heard."

"Thanks." Jellal muttered, still very red. Zeref grinned and leaned closer.

"You owe me one, _Jellybean_ ," he whispered. As Jellal's face discovered a whole new shade of red, Zeref decided that being human was actually kind of nice.


	5. Zervel - Corpses and Kitchens

"Your Majesty," Invel began carefully. Zeref looked up at him.

"Yes?" he asked. Invel sighed.

"You need to stop leaving dead bodies in my kitchen." He said bluntly. Zeref stared at him.

"Sorry?"

"My kitchen is not a graveyard, Your Majesty." Invel explained. "If you leave corpses there, I won't be able to have meals made. And while that may not be a problem for you, the vast majority of us lack immortality, and thus need to eat."

"Well, then, where _should_ I leave the bodies?" Zeref asked, looking entirely serious. Invel thought about it for a moment.

"Cut the left arm off of each of them and dump them in front of Acnologia's cave," he decided.

"What should I do with the rest of the bodies?" Zeref asked.

"Dump those too."


	6. GrayJel - Not Your Color

"I beg your pardon?" Jellal turned around to look at the Ice Mage.

"Sorry," Gray shrugged, not looking very sorry. "It just isn't. Orange and blue don't really mix." Jellal blushed, and reached up to pull off the orange kitty ears.

"Millianna asked me to," he said apologetically. "I–" Gray's hand caught his before he could actually remove the ears from his head.

"Even if it's not your color, you still look adorable in them," he teased. "Maybe we should find you a blue pair." Smirking, Gray spun his boyfriend around, pinned him to the bed, and leaned in. "Got a tail with that?" he asked, only half kidding. To his surprise, Jellal gave a tiny grin in response.

"I might," he replied innocently. "But you'll have to take off my pants to find out."


End file.
